Michael Jackson is gay? I don't see it.

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A new book about Michael Jackson will reveal the King of Pop was a closeted homosexual who had various secret affairs with men. Or at least he thought they were secret, but "virtually everyone" around Michael, including his family, knew he was gay. The Sun reports:

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Biographer Ian Halperin claims to have tracked down two of the superstar's alleged male lovers. One, who Jacko was "madly in love" with, met him for liaisons at a grungy motel which was all the debt-ridden star could afford.
And one told Halperin: "The very first time he had sex with me he said, 'The King of Pop's going to lick your lollipop'. I still laugh thinking about that."
Halperin makes the bombshell allegations in his book Unmasked: The Final Years of Michael Jackson, for which he claims to have interviewed many people who told him Jacko was gay.
He said: "Virtually everybody has told me. Even those who are his most ardent defenders, people who maintain he is innocent of the molestation charges, insist that he is homosexually inclined."
He claims the two lovers he traced were a Hollywood waiter and an aspiring actor, "Lawrence".
The actor boasted they met almost every night for three weeks at his Hollywood Hills home in a short but passionate affair.
Lawrence added: "He was very shy. But when he started to have sex, he was insatiable."

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Somewhere Macaulay Culkin and Corey Feldman read the words "The King of Pop is going to lick your lollipop" and laughed. "Can you believe that line still works?" They''ll chuckle. "But not with me. Not with me. No, seriously, shut up. I hate you!"


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Russell Brand shoots down Lindsay Lohan

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Despite an on/off relationship with Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan reportedly attempted to hook up with Russell Brand last weekend at Diddy and Ashton Kutcher's Fourth of July party. Surprisingly, Russell turned her down even though he has a reputation for fucking pretty much anything in sight including a ton of prostitutes in Vegas Saturday night on Diddy's private jet. The Sun reports:

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A source said: "Lindsay is a very good-looking girl and she is used to getting what she wants. Russell has been on her radar for a while now but he doesn't want anything to do with her. He finds her constant craving for attention and her heavy drinking a turn-off. It's not like he is short of female attention anyway." The comic jetted to Las Vegas with P Diddy yesterday and on a video blog, filmed en-route on the rapper's private plane, the pair joked that they would be using the services of some ladies of the night.


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Jesus. Getting shot down by Russell Brand? That's like having a dildo sprout legs and say "Hell no, lady" before jamming itself in a light socket. Or Paris Hilton. Same diff.


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Jessica Simpson is single

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Jessica Simpson and longtime boyfriend Tony Romo called it quits on Thursday, the day before Jessica's 29th birthday, according to People:

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"She is heartbroken," says the source. "She loves Tony. But it's been difficult lately. He's busy with his career and she's getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways."
The Dallas Cowboys quarterback fueled breakup rumors when he showed up with about 14 friends at the Hollywood hotspot MyHouse on Friday night without the birthday girl, a source tells PEOPLE.
Simpson had planned to throw a Barbie and Ken-themed party for her birthday, but it fell through, according to a message she wrote on her Twitter page Saturday. "Barbie party didn't happen, but I turned 29 and feel like I am on top of the world yelling I LOVE GETTING OLDER!" she wrote.

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Kudos to Jessica Simpson for getting dumped right before turning just shy of 30 and still taking it like a champ. Then again, it's not like she doesn't have large breasts that any man would kill to touch.

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